Is Anger Over Your Divorce Ruling Your Life?
I will be one of many friends that will tell you: It's OK to be angry, hurt and mad about your divorce.
But, I'll also be one of many friends that will tell you: It's not OK to allow this anger to rule your life. You're better than that!
That's why I asked divorce experts to share their tips on how women can best manage that swelling anger that seems to take over all areas of life after a divorce.
I think you'll like what they have to say in the tips below:
Tip #1: Resolve your resentment and hurt as fast as you can
Resentment hurts you not him. I can distinctly remember how angry I was during my divorce and after. The anger had no place to go so it festered in me like an illness. When I realized what was happening, I started working on ways to simply stop being resentful. This was not easy, but it was so worth it. Once I had gotten to the point where things did not bother me, I was truly free then to go on with my life. How long did this take? It took me about a year for the worst of it, maybe two to be mostly at peace. It was also good for my children to have one less angry parent in their lives. I was rewarded by being in a good frame of mind when the new man in my life came along.
Tip #2: Your Father, Ur FATHER, YOUR BLEEPING FATHER!
When talking to your children, any sentence that begins with … "YOUR father, or, Your FATHER ,or, YOUR (bleeping) FATHER, is far more damaging to them (your kids), than to him (THEIR FATHER). Gratefully, hes now your EX — (and someone else's headache)!
Tip #3: Always take the high road!
Divorce is hurtful, it's creates anger and bitterness, it's painful, it's rejection at it's very core. Divorce can easily bring out the worst in us. Taking the high road means refraining from retaliating with low road behavior. It means being a role model for your children. It means not throwing your ex- under the bus and making your kids feel guilty. While low road behavior may feel good in the moment, it won't in the long run.
The applications of taking the high road are endless. It's a concept that applies across every boundary gender, age, race, nationality, profession. Taking the high road is a goal for which to strive. The benefits are too numerous to quantify. The high road is ultimately a way of life. It means making the elevated decisions. It's opting to do something that may not always be the easiest choice, but is always the more thoughtful choice. It's making decisions that will make your kids, your family, and your friends proud. It's living your life so that you can look yourself in the mirror every day knowing that you aspire to greater ideas and ideals! Taking the high road isn't always easy. You're not always coasting on the high road. And, to the surprise of many people, the high road can be bumpy and full of pot holes to navigate and avoid.
Nobody ever said making some tough choices, doing the right thing, and taking the high road was going to be easy. Perhaps that's why the high road often has less traffic.
Tip #4: Forgive Him? Are You Kidding?
Learn to forgive. Harboring negative feelings will only slow down the progress of moving forward. Gather the tools and skills to find forgiveness through your church/synagogue, counseling, books and tapes, family and friends.
A big thanks to these experts for the divorce advice they've shared!
If you're considering or proceeding through a divorce, information is key. Please take some time to educate yourself using the free information here at AlwaysNewYou.com:
- The Divorce and Remarriage Section: Great advice to guide you through your divorce, recovery and on to your next relationship (IF you want one!).
- Jeanie Rule's Divorce Advice for Moms: Our resident expert, Jeanie Rule, helps moms make great decisions about handling their divorce and raising wonderful children.