Divorce Advice to Help You Cope
After 20 years of marriage, Kay Larrabee was caught completely unawares when her ex-husband told her he filed for divorce in February, 2008. He had been secretly planning his exit for months. At the time, Larrabee, a mom of three and certified career coach, was starting up a non-profit charitable organization to provide interview clothing to women transitioning into the workplace. She received no salary at the time and had to cease plans for the business. Since then, Larrabee has turned her negative experience into a healing one and is helping other women avoid the pitfalls she experienced. She is now a Divorce Concierge and owner of Women on the Mend.
Divorce Advice for the Unexpected Filing
Here are her tips for when you’re caught off-guard.
1 – Ask your husband if he would agree to counseling. This will probably not save the marriage, but it may give both of you a better understanding of the other’s position and tools you can use to work through the break-up in a more civilized manner.
2 – Be very careful that you don’t let shock, depression and anxiety take over, so that you are able to receive a smart divorce, ensuring your future well-being and that of any children. Surround yourself with positive people who can help you get back on your feet, physically, emotionally and financially.
3 – Seek support and know that you are not alone. Many women are in your position. The support of others can help enable this. Look for Free Divorce Support Groups and Divorce workshops in your area.
4 – Consider the support of an experienced Divorce Concierge who can literally and figuratively hold your hand through the process by helping to pool together divorce attorneys, mediators, financial advisers, clergy and therapists. A Divorce Concierge can accompany you on appointments, keep you organized and provide you with all of the steps and tips to enable the smoothest possible divorce.
5 – Finally, keep in mind that while this feels like the worst time of your life, and it will be challenging, you can get through this and come out even stronger.
— Kay Larrabee, Divorce Concierge and Owner, Women on the Mend
For more divorce advice from noted divorce experts, please see our full Divorce Library.