Coping With Your Feelings Through Divorce
Divorce is a difficult situation for all parties involved. Being aware of your own feelings and coping with the process as it pertains to you is the most important focus you can maintain. Changing others opinions and behaviors is impossible, but changing your own perspective can be a saving grace in an otherwise overwhelming time.
Our experts have provided us with some advice when navigating through your own emotions and interests when coping with a divorce that you don’t necessarily want.
When All Else Fails
If all attempts at reconciliation have failed, including couples therapy, the best advice I can give a client is to try to move on to the most stable position possible as quickly as possible. Getting divorced is frequently about making the best of a bad situation. I find that women who do not want a divorce frequently do well going to therapy to help them get through the process.
I also suggest using the Collaborative Process, which enables the parties to control their own destiny in a confidential and healthier environment. Almost all divorce cases settle before going to trial. The question is how do you get to the settlement? Using the Collaborative Process reduces the collateral damage, especially to children.
Finally, carefully choose an experienced Family attorney. This is a very important decision, one that should not be made on a whim. Use the Internet to review the attorney’s website to determine if his or her philosophy matches yours. Meet with the attorney to not only learn about the law and your rights, but to determine if the attorney’s personality fits your personality.
Don’t Let Revenge Be The Driving Force
Many times the hurt causes women to hire a high powered attorney to teach him a lesson. The only person that wins if you make that choice is the attorney. Always start with mediation. Many times women walk away with more than what they’re legally entitled to due to the Husband’s guilt about putting their spouse in a vulnerable position. Mediation allows you to resolve issues quickly and move on the the grieving process which is important to heal. The bitterness and stress brought on by a lengthy, expensive court battle only ads fuel to the hurt.
Everything Gets Outgrown Eventually
Everything ends, and it’s not personal. The marriage didn’t end because you weren’t good enough. Are you still wearing the same shoes you could fit into when the marriage began? Feet change shape. So do needs. Breathe and stay quiet and open your heart to the hurt. Practice acceptance. It changes everything.