Can You Stop a Divorce That He Wants?

redheadsmilingYour husband wants a divorce but you still love him.  So, does that mean you should oblige willingly?

This is your relationship too.  And many women meant it with an overpowering amount of conviction when they vowed for better or worse.

Unfortunately, in many states it does not require the consent of both partners to end their marriage.  It does, however, require a 6 month trial period – a last ditch effort, of sorts.

What can you do in 6 months to save your marriage?  Learn what our expert contributors suggest you do:

Snatch Your Marriage from the Jaws of Divorce

  • Identify what your husband’s reasons are for wanting to end your marriage.  Really listen, even if you feel attacked or don’t agree.
  • Put your husband’s needs first. Make him your top priority, be positive and let him know the good things he does that you appreciate.
  • Don’t nag, plead, or cry. Don’t try to make him talk.
  • Take action to make things better. Seek help from a pro-marriage therapist to keep your behavior in line with your goals.
  • Don’t give up hope.

Lesli Doares, Marriage and Family Therapist, Balanced Family Therapy,

Stop Divorce with Unconditional Love

1.  Watch “Fireproof”
2.  Ask God to take control of the situation.
3.  Begin to change yourself by becoming kind and sacrificial for your husband.

Every situation is different, however, in every conflict, both parties have some fault. It’s almost never the case that one partner is bad and one is good; both are usually involved in kindling the fire of conflict, just as both are involved in kindling the fire of love. So to fix such a situation, one person must humble him/herself and begin to love the other unconditionally.

Women – encourage your husbands, speak well of them when they hear you and when they don’t, ask them what would make them happy (within legal and moral boundaries), take them on special dates and shower them with love and care.

Important: Do not look at their reactions. Most likely they will reject and resent what you’re doing. They will get defensive, they will say terrible things to you, they will get suspicious, they may even try to hurt you with their words because they’ve experienced pain within the marriage and are trying to give it back. Do not allow this to discourage you.

Before it gets better, it almost always gets worse. So when it’s at its worst, keep doing this and you’ll be surprised by what happens next. No normal and healthy human being can resist love and kindness because it’s what people want most in this world. So give your husband love and kindness, pray as you do that and watch him (and yourself) change.

Warning: These tips do not apply to any situations that involve physical, mental or emotional abuse. Such relationships need to be ended and reported.

— Kira Shcherbakova, Author, Counselor, Speaker, Youth of the World,


Looking for more tips on coping with divorce and deciding what to do when he wants a divorce, but you still love him? Visit our Divorce section for more tips and advice.

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