12 Major Reasons Why a Daughter Needs a Father
A father provides many essential things for a daughter's full self-actualization. We all need to experience acceptance and unconditional love in order to provide these experiences to our children when we become parents. In general, a person cannot give what she does not have. For example, a person who never experienced unconditional love is seldom capable of giving unconditional love. Although some of us may be born with predispositions to develop certain personality traits, many people's personality and behavior are determined by the environment, especially the early relationships with primary caretakers.
Without a dad as a positive role model, a daughter will tend to have less in her life than she deserves. I will discuss 12 major reasons why a daughter needs a psychologically healthy and emotionally stable dad in this article.
1) A daughter needs at least one hero in her life who can be trusted not to let her down. A father needs to do what he says he'll do in order for a daughter to learn to trust others.
2) A father is invaluable in teaching a daughter that her value as a person is more than the way she looks. Otherwise, she will grow up focusing primarily on superficial physical attributes, while missing out on the importance of deeper spiritual and character development.
3) A daughter learns to laugh at herself and not to feel insecure when others laugh at her if her dad laughs at her at all the right times in her childhood. Having a trusted father who laughs at her in a funny (and not negative or harmful) way will give her a more mature perspective and provide her the ability and security to laugh at herself in a humorous way.
4) A dad needs to teach his daughter when to be cautious, yet also support her desire to learn new things and make mistakes on her own while always being available to provide guidance. A daughter improves on her ability to concentrate if her dad teaches her to focus her mind and to remain calm under stressful conditions.
5) A daughter needs a dad to tuck her in at night and who always makes time to give her lots of hugs and kisses, so that she will know what it's like to be somebody's favorite person. A daughter needs a dad to carry her just because she wants to be carried. A dad who shows her how it feels to be loved unselfishly will have a greater chance of raising a daughter who will become a woman capable of providing her husband and children with unconditional love.
6) An adult daughter will respect and treat herself well if her dad taught her to believe in herself and to believe that she deserves to be treated well. A dad often becomes the standard against which his daughter will judge all men. A dad has an important role in teaching her how to recognize a gentleman. A dad to tell her all she needs to know about boys and to explain that all boys are not like the one who hurt her. And a dad to stand with her on the day she marries the man she hopes will be just like her father.
7) A daughter feels secure when her dad will not punish her for her mistakes, but instead helps her learn from them. A dad who teaches her the power of forgiveness. A dad to make the tough decisions for her until she is mature enough to make them herself. A dad to protect her until she has enough life experiences to develop the capacity to protect herself. As she grows, a daughter needs a dad who trusts and loves her enough to stand back and let her make her own decisions, even wrong and painful ones, so that she may learn from them and thus become a better decision-maker in the future.
8) A daughter needs a dad to protect her from scary things and take the time to answer her questions that keep her up at night. A dad whom she can feel safe to always turn to when she feels afraid. A dad to provide her with the security she needs in order to take risks that will steadily build up her confidence and self-efficacy.
9) A daughter needs a dad to teach her that she is equal to boys and subsequently to her future husband. A dad for her to learn what she should expect from her husband. A dad who teaches her that a man's real strength is not the force of his hand or the loudness of his voice, but his underlying character and the kindness of his heart.
10) A daughter needs a father who is a positive role model: to teach her honesty, sincerity, reliability, patience, fairness, tolerance, loyalty, compassion, kindness, creativity, and flexibility. A dad to set a moral benchmark for her. A dad to provide guidance and share his moral wisdom that she has not yet acquired.
11) A daughter needs a dad to teach her the importance of being a lady. To help her become well-adjusted and develop a strong, willful, yet kind character, which tends to attract a good-natured man to be the father of her children.
12) A dad is important in helping his daughter to believe in herself not just as a person, but also as a parent. To help her become the best mother she possibly can be.
Tobey Leung, M.D.