Stop Stressing Yourself Out!

When stress is overwhelming you, stop and assess your situation. Often times, your reaction to the events around you is contributing to your anxious feeling. You have some choices to make. Either continue to feel lost and irritable, or take a step back, assess the situation, and choose to respond in a manner that soothes you.

One of my favorite spins on a popular saying is, “you win some, you learn some”. If you’ve learned something, then you never really lose. Apply that to your stressful situations. Learn how you can free yourself from the stress of self-sabotage using the following stress management techniques.

Stress… An inside job?

First, set a goal of how you want to be, what’s the opposite of stress? It could be peace, harmony, tranquility, relaxed, calm, joy, balance, control, love, bliss, contentment, etc. Without a target to move towards, you may stay stuck.

Then ask yourself the what and the how questions.

What can I do to have the state of being, to have the feelings that I desire?
How can I have the feelings that I want?

You may need to change jobs, change your eating habits, change your level of exercise, get involved in new activities, change your home environment, etc.

A major cause of stress for many people is their beliefs. Whenever you start to feel stressed, ask yourself, “What beliefs are causing my stressed response?” Is it that someone should or shouldn’t do something, that you can’t do something, a fear that you have, that you can’t have something, etc. Write down the belief, challenge its validity, and come up with an opposite empowering belief.

Find people who experience the same things you do that stress you out, who don’t get stressed by these things, and learn what their beliefs are. And pay attention to your self-talk, eliminating any that’s negative. If you make a mistake, you can call yourself stupid, a jerk, and a moron, or you can step back and ask yourself what you can learn from this, why did it happen, and what beliefs contributed to the mistake.

Be kind, caring, nurturing, accepting, empowering, and understanding of yourself, period!

Ronald Kaufman, Seminar Leader/Executive Coach/Author, Ronald Kaufman Consultancy

How do you overcome self-sabotaging tendencies?

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