Finding the Good in Your Marriage
Most often, I believe people enter into marriage expecting everything to fall into place. Rarely do we consider how we are going to make our relationship work ahead of time. It is assumed you will have a happy marriage based on how much you love each other.
Unfortunately, what we would never believe even if someone told us is that feeling doesn’t last forever. And when it’s gone the only thing that’s left is how you treat each other. Here are some excellent tips on what we can do to protect our marriage so that feeling of love sticks around a little longer.
Protecting Your Marriage
Nurture and caretake for your marriage like you would a child or a houseplant. Ask yourself:
Do I use the common pleasantries with my spouse that I would a perfect stranger?
Do I remember to say “thank you” to my spouse, even though I expect my partner to do the things he or she does?
Do I smile at my partner and laugh with him or her?
Too many couples wait until the last minute to get counseling for their relationship. Dealing with marital issues (that can often lead to divorce) in therapy can be exponentially easier if the couple presents BEFORE a wall of anger, resentment and disgust has been built up for many months or even years. It is better to come to a few sessions when you first feel “stuck” on certain issues and you will see results much more quickly. .
Finding the Good
It’s so easy to be critical that you have to work to find the good in others. If you work harder at finding the good in the one you love, instead of being critical, it will go a long way. One of the ways to do this is to have a Gratitude Journal where you write down just three things a day that you are thankful for. Finding something special about the one you love and focusing on that is easy once you get started. It’s all about attitude — if you look for the good in others, their goodness will come shining through.
Is Boredom Hurting Your Relationship?
If your kisses are nearly non-existent, commit to a monthly slow dance. You just might be surprised what it could lead to.
If you’re resentful about money, be more creative about planning. EVERY date doesn’t have to be dinner and a movie. Try recreating how you met.
If foreplay is infrequent, try ‘kicking it up a notch’. Sensual massage is one of the best ways to do that. If full body is too intimidating, try a foot soak and fragrant oil massage or a hand soak with a warm lotion massage – by candlelight.
We often lack the interest and energy to put these extras into our marriage. But, if we don’t nurture our relationship someone else will. Take the time to have intimate moments with your spouse, whether it’s complimenting him, looking for his strong suits, or having a romantic moment. Be proactive and create your happy marriage.