Single and Dreading the Holidays? Online Dating to the Rescue

My very first exposure to online dating was when a friend’s daughter met and married someone from J-date who was so perfect for her it hurt. I didn’t think much about online dating at the time, more like Hmmm, that’s interesting. And when I got to LA in January newly single after 24 years, I had no intention of signing up for online dating. The second night I was in my new house, a friend took my laptop and started entering data fast and furiously. “Here,” he said, handing my laptop back to me. “Write your Amazon.” Be fun. Be intriguing. Be a little mysterious.

No Need To Complain

Your profile should not go on and on about what you hate in men/women. It just sounds like bitching and who wants to go out with a malcontent?

Proceeding Into Dating

Online dating takes awhile to get the hang of. Getting messages from total strangers is a little discombobulating at first.  Just relax and don’t take every message/wink so seriously.

Don’t Go Out With Anyone Who Doesn’t Appeal To You

If you’re not excited about the person in some way, you don’t owe him or her anything. If someone winks or emails you and you’re not intrigued, you don’t need to reply or feel obligated.  You can always hit the “not interested” tab to be polite.

Meet Safe

Someone out there has had a terrible experience, I’m sure, but for the most part online dating is safe in that it has a built in security system. The online service can track anyone through credit cards. Still, it’s always best to be safe by meeting people in public places. Make the first meet short and sweet. And just as you wouldn’t give your social security number to the Nigeria widow whose husband just died and left you $3 million, if your brain is getting a red alert about a person you met online, pay attention.

As It Turns Out, It’s Still Boy Chases Girl

Virtually all the men I talked to told me that men do the pursuing. Things have not changed in boy-meets-girl-land.

Get Instant Dating Apps

The world of online dating has progressed from slower getting-to-know-each-other emails, texts, and phone calls, to instant meet-ups. This mentality is perfect for the holidays. You can download apps onto your smart phones that allow you to make a date for drink on very short notice—like tonight for example. This is super for those nights when you’re done with work and have some time and would like to meet someone for a drink. Marriage not imperative; we’re just having fun, remember?

Meet As Soon As Possible

One guy told me that he’s turned off to any woman who says she wants to get to know him better by text or email. “It’s completely unnatural,” he said. And this guy is 23 years old. I agree. If I’m interested I want to meet the person as soon as possible. Otherwise, the texting can go on literally for months. It’s a syndrome with some people who are either risk averse, shy, married, or unconfident.

Let People Down Easy

I’ve known women who are absolutely ruthless when they’re not interested in men. That kind of treatment isn’t necessary. I went out with a man who I really liked a lot but not romantically. I’ve continued to see him as a friend. He recently paid me a very nice compliment by saying, “You know how to let men down fun.” Be sure to look directly in his or her eyes when you say that and smile. I’ve made several fun, stimulating friends through online dating.

Online dating is all about expanding your horizons. You have to put some effort into it if you want to meet people. Extending yourself has not changed just because it’s online. Thanksgiving is in two weeks, so you may as well get started tonight. Good luck and have fun!

Peace, Fun, Love.
Your girlfriend in health,
Newly Single

Nancy Deville

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