Nutrient Dense, Yummy Bowel Prep For Colonoscopy
Just the thought of a colonoscopy is a major ugh, not because of the actual procedure, in which you are heavily sedated or even asleep, but because of the dreadful twenty-four hour prep the day before.
I finally decided to bite the bullet and have the procedure driven by the fact that my health insurance deductible has been met for the year combined with the fact that my divorce will soon be final and I’ll be off my ex’s stellar insurance plan.
The whole experience turned out to be a lot less arduous than I expected (see below) and I was thrilled to hear the doctor say that I have the intestines of “a thirty year old.” I can only assume that my dedication to a diet of real, whole, living food has something to do with that.
The first step in preparing for the prep was to pick up the bowel prep oral solution at the pharmacy. What a shock to see the ingredients. I simply will not drink a gallon of liquid containing aspartame or saccharin.
Aspartame has many ardent followers including people in the medical and political communities. I happen to not be one of them. We all have to decide what we are willing or eager to put into our bodies. After reading several books on aspartame, including neurosurgeon Dr. Russell Blaylock’s Excitotoxins, The Taste That Kills, and looking at the research both pro and against, I’ve come out on the side of never wanting to put any amount of aspartame into my body. Some may think, well it’s only one day. But when I interviewed Dr. Blaylock for my book Death by Supermarket, he told me that even a little usage could result in neurological problems down the line. I’m going to be 73 in ten years and will not willingly do anything that may increase my risk for degenerative neurological disease. I don’t care what anyone says.
The same is true about saccharin. Supporters say that the urinary cancers caused by saccharine in lab rats shouldn’t scare humans. But I don’t care if saccharin is only proven to cause cancer in fleas, with approximately 40.8 percent of men and women diagnosed with cancer in their lifetimes, my daily goal in life is to avoid any and all possible risk factors for cancer.
Much to the chagrin and eye rolls of the pharmacists who clearly didn’t get why I was putting up such a fuss, they managed to dig one lonely reject from the bowels (no pun intended) of their stock that was free of both aspartame or saccharine. PEG-3350 and Electrolytes for Oral Solution, while vile tasting, contains relatively harmless ingredients.
Proceeding on to the actual prep day, you are required to NOT EAT SOLID FOOD, but rather to adhere to a clear liquid diet, which can be, in my opinion, a highly poisonous (not to mention very high insulin secreting) day of consuming high fructose corn syrup 7-Up, factory animal gelatin based Jell-O, and MSG laden Campbell’s, Trader Joe’s or bouillon broth, (see aspartame above for more on excitotoxins).
If the goal is to peek into your innards to see if there is any pathology I honestly do not understand the sense of putting disease causing liquids into those very same innards. But since I’m not good at fasting, I had to consume something. I decided to put together a nutrient dense, actually pleasant clear liquid diet.
COLON HAPPY BOWEL PREP MENU
KOMBUCHA: An ancient medicinal drink made from tea, sugar, and a fungi. My favorite is by Synergy. Three bowel prep day approved flavors are Original, Citrus, and Gingeraid. Kombucha is fizzy and refreshing, which makes it a good chaser to the yucky bowel prep solution. I mixed Kombucha with Pellegrino because I wanted more liquids. The more clear liquid you get through your system the cleaner your bowels will be.
BONE BROTH: A must! I could write out my own recipe but why invent the wheel when we have Sally Fallon’s, who is arguably the world’s leading expert in bone broth. Besides all of it’s benefits, bone broth is soothing during a day of fasting and bowel purging which can cause chills and nausea in some.
REAL GELATIN: Jell-O brand gelatin is made with gelatin, made from the hides, bones, and connective tissue of factory-raised animals. That means it contains all the toxins the animals were exposed to. Factory animals are sick animals that are kept alive long enough to slaughter.
Making your own Gelatin is so easy!
Please do not use the Knox-ious brand of gelatin. You can make healthy yummy gelatin in no time with real living gelatin from humanely raised cows, one is Great Lakes, and the other is Bernard Jensen, both conveniently available to all of us Amazon Prime addicts.
2 cups fresh (or not from concentrate) clear juice, apple, white grape, or cranberry (I supposed orange would be okay too if strained well, pineapple juice prevents congealing)
2 tablespoons gelatin
Heat 1 cup juice in a saucepan, add gelatin, dissolve and simmer for 5 minutes, stirring. Remove from heat and let sit for ONLY 1-2 minutes. Taste your mixture and if you need sweetener add honey. Pour into a glass bowl, or molds if you have them. Refrigerate for at least 4 hours. Best if made the day before.
VEGGIE JUICE: Strained cucumber and celery juice are acceptable on a clear liquid diet.
YAY, THE DAY AFTER!
Hopefully you had good news like I did and are now ready to eat, but your tummy is a little wary of heavy food. You’ll likely have a lot of chicken broth left which makes a wonderful base for:
COMFORTING CREAM OF CHICKEN SOUP
1/2 cup butter
1 medium onion, chopped
2 stalks celery including leaves, chopped
3 medium carrots, chopped
1/2 cup organic white flour (a little flour in soup isn’t the same as eating pizza 🙂
7 cups chicken broth
3 sprigs parsley
3 sprigs fresh thyme
1 bay leaf
2 3/4 cups cooked, diced chicken
1/2 cup heavy cream
2 1/2 teaspoons dry sherry
1 tablespoon sea salt
freshly ground black pepper to taste
2 tablespoons chopped flat-leaf parsley
From the broth that you made for your prep day: To separate soggy vegetables, meat, bones, and broth I wear clean surgical gloves. That way you can scoop out the congealed broth from your pot and discard the cooked vegetables. Put the broth into one container and the meat into another. Using your fingers, hunt for any little bones and discard them.
Melt the butter in a large soup pot over medium heat. Add the onion, celery, and carrots and cook, covered, stirring occasionally, until soft, about 6 minutes. Scatter in the flour and cook, stirring with a wooden spoon, for 2 minutes more.
Dollop in the broth and bring to a boil while whisking constantly. Tie the parsley sprigs, thyme, and bay leaf together with a piece of kitchen twine and add to the soup. Lower the heat and simmer for 10 minutes.
Stir in the chicken and bring to a boil. Remove from the heat.
Whisk the heavy cream, sherry, and salt into the soup and season with pepper to taste. Remove and discard the herb bundle.
Serve and celebrate the fact that you took the effort to put healthy liquids into your body.
Peace, Fun, Love.
Your girlfriend in health,